A reason to live

Life is a choice

Stop hurting each other

Only when we experience something, can we truly understand, appreciate and learn from its complete opposite counterpart. For example, if we feel intense sorrow, we will learn how to appreciate and create happiness around us; not just for ourselves but for those close to us.

Only when we know the deep emptiness of real loss can we fully appreciate life in all its fragility. Only when we experience the deepest of pain do we try and alleviate it for ourselves and those around us. Only when we know what it means to really suffer do we try and shield others, around us, from it. 

Only when we see, and feel, how our behaviour hurts another, and we truly understand the pain attached to that hurt because we see ourselves reflected in the other, do we stop hurting each other once and for all. That is when we start living in our true bright eternal light of Divine connection. Love each other peeps ... Life really is far too short

Dear You ...

Dear You, 

 

I don’t know you and you don’t know me but I know what you’re going through. The pain you’re feeling right now is the same pain I’ve felt. I’ve been where you are and I’ve felt the deepest sorrow a human being can feel. The only thing worse than losing a loved one is losing a loved one to cancer at a very tender age. 

 

I know how empty you feel right now and how the world makes no sense any more. I know that feeling of being dead inside as if someone ripped your heart out and left you numb. I know how it feels to be plodding along aimlessly through life without really being present. 

 

I lost a lifelong friend to cancer before she made it to the age of 34. She struggled for two long, hard, years with cancer before her frail body gave up the fight. I watched her decline from the vibrant human being she was to a bed ridden shell of her former self. 

 

All I could do was standby and watch as the disease slowly took all the life out of her. I felt helpless. I didn’t want to lose her but I didn’t know how to save her and after she departed this world to start the next phase of her journey, I felt guilt. I felt like I should have done more for her. I kept questioning whether I did everything I could have possibly done and I beat myself up over it every day for three years following her passing. 

 

I couldn’t and wouldn’t accept the inevitable of her condition and hindsight is a wonderful thing. There was nothing I could do for her except be there for her and love her the way I always had. I know now that I couldn’t have saved her. Unfortunately, I don’t get to decide who lives and who dies.

I know, that like me, you’re going through the mourning process and it will take time to heal. You should take all the time you need. Everyone mourns in their own way and for as long as they need to but, I want you to remember one thing. Love is all that really matters. 

 

Your loved one, just like mine, wouldn’t want you to suffer the pain you’re feeling. I’m sure they’d want you to live your life and make the most of every precious moment. 

 

It’s taken me a long time to realize that life is about cycles and death doesn’t mean the end. It’s just another cycle and within life itself, from the moment we’re born, every hello must end in goodbye. The only thing that keeps us bound, throughout all cycles, is our love for one another. Every moment we share together and every memory we create is a precious gift to be treasured and looked back upon with the same love and happiness we felt at the time of creation. 

 

With every encounter, our lives are enriched. We all touch each other in some way and we learn from one another. Instead of mourning our loss, we should celebrate what we have gained. We are all very fortunate to share our lives with one another in whatever capacity and we are all blessed to know love and share it with others. 

 

I know that, right now, this letter is probably of no real consolation to you but one day you will see the world, once again, as a beautiful place. One day, you’ll feel your loved one, once again, smiling at you from wherever they are and, once again, you’ll start living in the knowledge that only love matters.

Life can be rebooted!

It’s been a while! And, well ... life certainly has taken a different turn for me. After 10 years of living on paradise island, working 6 days a week 12 hours a day and squeezing in a million hobbies, I find myself in Spain with no fixed abode, unemployed, unplugged and yet, eerily calm about an unknown future that has yet to unfold because I have yet to write it.

My feet haven’t really touched the ground since I got here and yet, I seem to have found enough quiet, solitary, moments to reflect.

In this new situation I find myself in, it’s become more and more apparent to me that when we have nothing to lose, we can only gain “something.” When there’s nothing left to be taken from us, we can only make new acquisitions and create new situations. When there’s nothing left to destroy we can only create something new. Yet, in reality, aside from death or theft, nothing is really ever taken from us. We choose to give things up. We choose to walk away from people, places, jobs; even our lives.

Maybe it’s a mid-life crisis, maybe it’s a fantasy or a calling but I walked away from my life (as I knew it) in search of something. Nobody forced me to. Life didn’t make me do it. Life didn’t give me a set of ultimatums. All I had before me was a set of choices. We all have them, and some are more painful than others to make because of what we leave behind. None the less, they are still our choices. For better or for worse, we need to take responsibility for our choices and stand by them.

Everything in life is a risk and if we don’t take risks, we will never know the outcome. We’ll be forever wondering: “What if ...” I would hope that each one of us knows exactly what we have, but we’ll never know what awaits us unless we’re willing to take a blind leap of faith into the unknown.

When we have nothing and manage to put our fears aside, we potentially stand to gain everything. All it takes is a strong sense of belief, persistence, perseverance, hard work and a healthy dose of optimism and faith. It also helps to have kind souls in your life who lift your spirit, look after you physically, mentally and emotionally, and make you feel loved. That, in my humble opinion, is the true essence of life; being with others and sharing with others.

I know there are some people out there who may think they have no-one, but the truth is we are NEVER alone. Solitude is a state we create. If we don’t see anyone around us, it’s because we’re not looking closely enough. It’s not the world’s fault. It’s not the circumstances we find ourselves in. We choose to wear blinkers and, until we remove them, we will never be able to open ourselves up to the world around us.

When we get down to the nitty, gritty of it life really is very simple and we can live very well with the simplest of things; food, shelter and good company. We over-complicate life because we’re constantly chasing something or other. We expend so much time and energy chasing the next big dream, the next big pay check, the next exotic dream trip, we fail to stop and really appreciate the simplicity of life.

I’ve always said that the older we get, the harder it is to break out of our comfort zone and be challenged by something new because we emotionally allow our fears to cloud our vision of potentials and possibilities.

With my move, I’ve proved to myself, that even at the age of almost 44, it’s possible to just walk away from everything and start a new life. How this life will turn out is a matter of time and my willingness to dedicate myself to it. I realise that if I was married and had children, it might not be so easy to change life, but I also believe that a family, like good friends, should be a compliment and not a burden. Hence, a change of life might be a little more difficult but certainly not impossible.

Life really is what we make it; simple or complex, it’s all our own doing.

Now, more than ever, I am consciously aware of how life is like a blank computer screen. We choose what to write, how to write it and when to write it. We can even choose not to write anything at all or we can just write a few lines of nonsense. Yet, in the simplicity of choosing between writing or not writing, with computers, we find ourselves confronted with the dilemmas of which of the million fonts to use, what size the font should be, what colour to write in, how many words we should write, what to write about, how to express our thoughts and the list goes on - and this is before we’ve even started typing.

In this nothingness that my life has, temporarily, become it’s very clear to me how the only time I hold myself back and stop myself from making a move forward is when I look back at “what was” instead of “being here now” and plainly accepting “what is.”

I, like anyone of you out there, am limited only by my memories, my imagination, my creativity, my motivation, determination, my perseverance and my lack of enthusiasm for doing anything. Every new day, and its outcome, is my own doing. My procrastination, my advancement, my whole life and its direction revolve around how much I am prepared to put into it, what I choose to do, how I choose to go about it and how focused I am.

Life is a bit like a computer ... you really can reboot at any moment in time.

From the flowering Udumpara - whoever he or she may be ...

I received this email and though it was beautiful ... so, I'm sharing it.

Dear Chinese Government,

I am the voice you wish to silence. I am the one who exists in this lifetime, yet speaks from the spirit of ages. I am the one you should fear. For I am the one who will keep the fire of life burning in the hearts of my people.

Although I may seem like a mere mortal in this lifetime, I am the soul of centuries. I am the fire from the flame that never dies.

I have lived through wars and famines. I have watched as all life ceased and started again. I have watched in silence as man killed man. I cried tears of lotus leaves when you tore the heart out of he who dared to carry my name but not relinquish his people.

I have returned for the love of my people. You know this and I know this. You cannot kill me. I am everywhere. I speak through the voice and with the voice of millions.

The very core of my heart grows stronger every day as I learn more; as does the love I share with those who call to me.

I hear the cries of those you hold in chains. I feel the pain of those you beat because they yield not to your will. I know the burial grounds of every corpse you have violated. Yet, you cannot kill me. Your time has come. Relinquish. The wind has changed. You know it and I know it. The tide has turned. You know it and I know it.

My people are already free. You know it and I know it. You cannot bound that which you do not possess; that which you cannot possess. You know it and I know it.

Freedom is relative. Spirit is free. The heart is free. The will is free. Land is a matter of material convention. Politics are a mere dispute to justify gross salaries and inflated egos.

I am the prediction. I am the prophecy. I am the flower you wish to deny. I am the beginning, I am the end and I am the middle ground. I see all. I hear all. I feel all.

You cannot kill me for I am eternity, but if you wish to know my name; you may call me hope.

The flowering Udumpara
Watching over Tibetans everywhere