Sunday, 19 December 2010

Don't shout!

Often in life people shout at others for no apparent reason what so ever other than their own insecurities and frustrations. These could be anything from feelings of low self-esteem: “I’m not good enough”, “I’ll never make it” and so on; to a lack of a sense of personal and professional achievement and job satisfaction.

It can be particularly frustrating when both our professional and personal life are out of balance or when we feel others collide too much with our world.

I think we all take our frustrations out on someone near and dear to us at some point in life. We basically use someone else as an emotional punching bag. The sad thing is that most of the time, we don’t even know we’re doing it.

It’s only when we’re on the receiving end or when we take a step back and reflect on our behaviour, that we realise how it feels. By then the damage is done though.

Instead of getting to the point where we lash out at an innocent bystander in our life, we should analyse ourselves, what we think our shortcomings are and our behavioral responses.

First of all, we should learn to worry less about what people think about us. We don’t need to validate who we are in comparison to others. Everyone on this planet is an individual human being with a personality and character of their own. It's not always necessary to fit in. After all, if we were all the same there would be no diversity and, quite frankly, I think the world would be a boring place.

There are people in this world who are different, they don’t conform to social norm expectations and I believe they should remain different. Their differences are what separate them from generality and the masses. Also, there is no right or wrong way to be. The point of life is to be happy and that includes being comfortable with all our differences in comparison to others.  

I’m also a great believer that people should worry less about what they call their
shortcomings and what they think they have, or do not have, to offer. As long as someone is alive, they certainly have something to offer. Perhaps, a shift in perspective is needed in order to appreciate one’s own qualities rather than one’s material possessions. This is where self-esteem and self-respect come into play.

Another fundamental issue to remember is that everything happens for a reason. So, whatever is happening in one’s life right now is there for a purpose. We just need to learn to see the purpose. We need to be able to appreciate the learning opportunity every challenge provides us with. We need to learn that lesson as quickly as possible and move on.

Most importantly, we need to learn to let go more. We need to let it all go; all the baggage and resentment from the past serves no purpose in our memories; except occupying good space that could be filled with positive change and an optimistic outlook towards the future. We need to keep moving forward with your eyes a little more open; our minds a little wiser and hearts filled with peace.
Nothing that we consider bad happens for a bad reason, but we need to see the positive side instead of persistently focusing on the negative aspects.

We need to forgive ourselves and others for whatever has gone before, and let go of the past. Built up guilt, anger, resentment and dare I say jealousy are all negative
qualities that hold us back in life. Generally, they spring from things we've done that we're not proud of or that we’re ashamed of. Instead of accepting them as an integrated part of who we are and regarding them as another opportunity to know and love ourselves; flaws included, we turn against ourselves.

We start a cycle of self-loathing and self-depreciation, which in turn, over a long period of time, turns into lack of self-esteem and lack of self-respect. We become our own worst enemy. We no longer have a good relationship with ourselves nor with others. Hence, from there on in, we begin to think that life is taking a downhill slide and that everything is going wrong. It’s not life though. It’s our attitude towards it.

Life and it’s journey are not consistent by nature. They are subject to change and many unstable factors. It may seem that it doesn’t always go the way we want it to, but the one thing we can do, is make it the way we want it to be. It takes determination, a series of choices, motivation, time, effort and the input and interconnection with others and the world around us.

So, before you shout at someone you hold dear. Stop yourself and analyse why you’re doing it. Is it really their fault or are you trying to compensate for something missing within yourself?

May you always have peace and love in your life. God Bless you all.


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