Dear Soul Mate ...

If there is someone special in your life, who you'd love to share a multitude of reasons with of why you love them, this is the perfect little gift ...

For men and women alike ... say it with a book ...

Now that Thanksgiving and Christmas are coming ... Let your dear heart know how you truly feel!

Happy Women's Day to every woman, girl, child and baby around the world.

To all the beautiful ladies around the world,

It's not easy being a woman nowadays. So much pressure is put upon us to be one way or another, to behave one way or another, to look one way or another. We're given false illusions of what beauty truly is. Everywhere we turn, we're led to believe we're not good enough. We're laughed at, ridiculed, bullied and name called when we don't fit the false standard big corporations (making the money) set for us.

Well, ladies of the world ... let me tell you. You don't have to be any one particular way. There is no right or wrong way of looking, behaving or being as long as you are being true to yourself. You don't have to look like some plastic "Hollywood" fabrication to be accepted. You don't have to dress with as little as possible to show who you are. You are neither your looks nor your clothes. These are cleverly designed marketing strategies to make you feel inadequate. The more you buy, the more big commercial companies laugh all the way tot he bank.

These companies would have you believe you're not beautiful just so you would buy their latest makeup or sunglasses to hide your real beauty. They would have you believe you're not thin enough just so you buy into the latest diet fad and line their pockets with your hard earned cash. They would make you believe that you're never going to fall in love unless you comply to rules they have set, for you, according to their own desire for greed and power.

I'm here to tell you that all you need to be beautiful, radiant, full of love and desirable, is to be a woman of substance - A woman of compassion, a woman who knows what she wants and how to get it - A woman who doesn't need to trample all over others to get to where she wants to go. All you need is to have the inner strength to stand up and be who you truly are within you, and trust me, who you truly are within is more beautiful than makeup, clothes and the latest fad diet.

All you need to receive love, kindness and compassion from others is to give that love, kindness and compassion. However, let me tell you that there is no greater love in this world than the love you can give yourself. If you want happiness, learn to be happy and share that happiness with others.  Whatever you put out into this world is what you will get back tenfold.

All you need is to shine bright like the true star you really are and illuminate the way for yourself and others. Be firm if necessary but never lose your tenderness. Be strong but don't forget to be flexible and delicate. Cry if you have to but 9 times out of 10 make sure they're tears of happiness. See beauty everywhere you go and beauty will be seen in you. Learn to forgive and forget and, for sure, others will forgive and forget too. Laugh out loud and others will laugh with you. Be infectious and spread the light you have within.

Above all just be yourself and if "yourself" doesn't fit in with everyone else, be proud that you stand out from the crowd. The world needs people who are different and who break free from the chains that binds society. Don't be afraid to be that difference and make a difference.

When you look at yourself in the mirror, be proud of who you are and what you've become. Honour yourself. Love every curve and every line for only you can know the true extent of this life journey you've been on.  Be proud to be one of life's survivors. Be proud to be a woman.

Most of all ... don't forget to simply "be a woman."

Don't forget one important thing ... Don't let anyone tell you "you can't". You can be whatever you want. You can whatever you set your mind, body and soul to. All you need is the determination to succeed and the courage to see your dreams through. Remember, all dreams are just dreams until you put them into practice. Add the effort on your part and they become reality. Just go for it!

Happy women's day!

Please feel free to share this if you think it contains a message that is relevant for any woman you know.

Photo courtesy of http://www.fantasticprovence.com

Where have all the good men gone?

I’ll see you in 6 months were the last parting words we said as we looked into each other’s eyes one last time; before we kissed and went our own separate ways at Dubai airport. I watched him as he walked off towards the boarding gate that took him back to Australia before I made my way back to the UK. It was the year 2000 and the last time I had a real relationship with anyone.

It was the first time since 1998, when I split up with my ex partner, that I’d brought myself to trust a man. My previous relationship had been on the rocks for some years. My ex partner and work colleague had slowly been on a downslide path to alcoholism and well, any woman who’s walked alongside someone on that track knows just what it entails; the fights, the anguish, the heartache and the violent streaks; not to mention the emotional and psychological blackmail.

My tall, dark, handsome, mysterious Australian beauty (as I use to call him) called me everyday while I was in the UK. He said he was coming. He never made it. His business took him everywhere around the globe except the UK. I got sent to China. He said he was coming there. He did make it there but only after I left. In fact, he made it to the UK after I left. His business had a way of keeping us apart all the time. I finally moved to Madeira. He told me to wait here. He told me he was coming. So, I did and I’m still here but then, the unthinkable happened. His business folded. He went bankrupt and stopped calling.

After waiting patiently for 3 years, then despairing, and then finally giving up, I met someone online who was such a great friend and such great company to be around. It seems though that I was only to be a friend in times of need; when disaster struck or when nothing better was going on. We’re still friends. I met an Italian Guy with whom I am still friends. I briefly dated a Tunisian guy who ended up spitting in my face and hitting me so hard I heard my back crack; and all because I asked him to hold me.

Then, I met another beautiful man online who captured my heart. After some time, we proposed to take things into the real world. He decided to come here and spend some time in my world. I made the decision to go and spend some time in his world and we agreed that if things worked out then we would take it that one step further and make a commitment to each other. Ten days, or so, before he was due to fly out here he went back to an ex girlfriend. That was Christmas 2006.

In the meantime, my Australian friend and I are back in touch but the trust I had in him has gone. He asked me to move to Australia but I couldn’t bring myself to do it. How could I trust a man who didn’t trust me to still love him when he went bankrupt? To my way of thinking, you don’t love someone because they have money. Many may, but that’s not what I’m about and I felt that he should have known that. Maybe I expected too much of him.

So, it’s now 2009. Somewhere between 2007 and now, I fell in love with another beautiful man who, coincidentally, I never even dated. Another “case closed” before it even started.

It’s very rare in this day and age, for me personally, to be able to say that I would trust my life in the hands of someone. Yet, it seems the very few that I would have trusted it with always end up breaking that trust in some way. I have to ask: “Do I have standards that are too high?” or “Is it because men just aren’t what they use to be?”

I have tonnes of male friends. In fact, I probably have more male friends than girl friends but no one special man in my life. I’ve put my personal life on hold since the year 2000. It’s been mine choice entirely and I don’t regret it, nor do I feel sorry for myself. I’ve dedicated my life to helping others since then and reaped rewards that no one man could have ever given me.

However, I’ve now decided to make that change in my personal life, and on the suggestion of an “eccentric” but adorable American personal coach friend of mine, I’m launching a worldwide campaign to find my one special man. I was told there are 6 million people out there, so it’s a question of trial and error. So, I’m going to try. They say: “Nothing ventured, nothing gained”

For once, I’m taking my own advice; picking up the pieces and moving on. My grandmother use to say to me that if someone wants you, they’ll find you. I don’t think that’s true anymore. Times have changed. We live in a different world and different times. It seems that if we want something, sitting in the sidelines; waiting and hoping for the good ones to notice just isn’t enough anymore.

So, where are all the good men?

I’m a simple woman really – although I can be a minefield of complexity in my sometimes irrational but logical thinking. You just have to get to know me.

It’s the little things make me happy - your smile that lets me know you’re happy to see me. A please and thank you, a good morning and good night; a kind gesture, a thoughtful act, a walk in the park or through the forest. I don’t need you to buy me flowers but I do need some sign of appreciation every now and then. I don’t need gifts but I do need hugs to remind me that you care.

I don’t need you to call me or text me or email me every 5 minutes but a hello once a day would be nice to let me know you think about me because I’ll be thinking about you. I don’t need to see you every day, but it would be nice if you surprised me by showing up on my doorstep for a cup of tea once in a while.

I am a Buddhist, so please don’t try and convert me. Don’t be jealous of my friends. If you are that special man in my life, there will be only you for me. I will be faithful and you will always have my loyalty. However, please try and understand that you are only one person compared to the thousands I promised to help. So, please give me space to help them or help me to help them.

One last thing, I may run away from you but I won’t run after you. So if you know in your heart of hearts that you’re afraid to love whole heartedly it’ll never work. As a friend of mine once said about me; when I give, it’s 150%. So, think carefully before you contact me.

My heart’s been broken too many times. I’ve been disappointed and let down too many times. You don’t have to be perfect; just perfect in my eyes. I believe that if something is worth having, then it’s worth going all out for. Do you? Then show me! Actions speak louder than words.

By Venerina Conti (www.facebook.com/venerina)

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