Everyone is suffering

Beauty

When I've made a bride up and seen their eyes swell with the beauty they see in the mirror, I always tell them that it's not the makeup or the hair style that makes them beautiful ... They are already beautiful, I just add a little colour to the, already existing, canvass.

The media would have us believe that beauty depends on how we look, where we live, how we live and how much money we earn ... but that's not beauty ... It's, merely, a false illusion created to keep us in a permanent sense of feeling like something (or a lot) is lacking in our lives. The objective is to make us stay in a system designed to economically enslave us. The weaker and more insecure we feel, the less empowered we are to simply "be" and be happy with what we have, who we are and how we look.

This year, I found it incredibly heart breaking to hear a lovely young bride, in her 30s, say to me that, before me, nobody had ever told her she was beautiful.

For me, beauty comes from all the pain, all the trials and tribulations we've had to overcome in life. Beauty comes from shining a light in the world because you know what it means to suffer and you wouldn't wish it on your worst enemy. Beauty comes from all the scars, all the healed wounds and all the darkness that, as a person, you have had to face, transform and illuminate with your own light. Every wrinkle is beautiful because it's the road map of your incredible life of learning and every struggle you've overcome. Beauty comes from sharing who you are, with others, in a kind and compassionate way with gentleness and grace.

If I've learned one thing in life ... it's that, the people who have suffered the most are the ones who have tremendous amounts of beauty... and that beauty is so real and so incredible, it's like seeing and knowing an Angel... a protector ... a guardian ... Love yourselves beautiful people. You are lacking nothing and you ... yes you reading this, you can honestly move mountains with your beauty.

Judge me as you will but the truth needs to come out!

For those who you who know me, you will know that I am a migraine sufferer. I have been one, practically, all my life. 

 

Again, most of you who have known for many years will, also, know that I fell 200 meters off a mountain; while out trekking. I had a near death experience; just to give you an idea of how serious the fall was. During that fall, I must have hit my head several times. As I was too busy floating in this beautiful white, warm, light; feeling peace beyond anything I ever experienced in my entire life, I have no idea how the body fell or what impacts it suffered. I only know that when I came back to the world of the living, I was broken from head to toe with obvious, visible signs like bleeding, lack of mobility etc and many not so obvious, internal, injuries. 

 

From then on, my migraines have progressively got worse. They have been more aggressive, last for longer periods of time, caused abnormal visual impairment and the loss a second or two, or three, here and there at sporadic intervals. 

 

After several tests, in 2009, I was diagnosed with a condition known as IIH; idiopathic intracranial hypertension. Idiopathic just means no known cause. The medical world refer to it as a benign brain tumour - begning tumour celebri to be precise. 

 

Apparently, the condition I have is considerably comparable to Hydrocephalus in so much that I have too much cerebral spinal fluid circulating around my brain. The Villi, or little, water, filter channels, have difficulty draining the fluid at the rate my body is producing it and sending it up to “supposedly” cushion the brain. 

 

If, and when, I am lucky enough to prevent a migraine from fully developing, I am able to maintain reasonable pressure levels in my cranium, which in a normal migraine sufferer can reach a maximum of between 23 and 27 mmHg (millimeters of mercury - the measure used for intracranial hypertension.) Curiously, it is between 7 - 15 mmHg for a normal (non suffering) person - at rest and laying down. 

 

When I am not lucky (or quick enough) to prevent a full blown attack, the pressure in my cranium has been known to reach over 40 mmHg, which is a very debilitating in many ways. If the pressure continued to increase, it could be potentially life threatening over a prolonged period of time because, eventually the blood flow to the brain would stop. 

 

It’s actually very ironic that the brain risks drowning in the very fluid the body produces to protect it.

My, personal, experience has, also, been loss of snippets of memory. I am an ND, doctor of natural medicine, not a conventional doctor, so I cannot scientifically prove the correlation between intracranial hypertension and memory loss but, it makes perfect sense that if a boat is continuously attacks by ravaging waves in a port, the paint will eventually fall off. As it is, we all lose about 200,000 brain cells on a normal day ... so, how many do we or can we lose with a severe migraine attack? ... and how many more with IIH?

 

The only bandaids, (I call them bandaids because they offer no solution what so ever to the 1 in 300,000 sufferers out there,) conventional medicine offer are:

1. A shunt, which is a tube that goes from the brain to the stomach to drain the fluid.
2. Lifetime (addictive) profilaxis - known as preventative medicine that provides no cure.
3. Regular lumbar punctures. I wouldn’t wish them on my worst enemy.

I refused the first, took myself off the second by going cold turkey and vowed never to have the third ever again in my life. 

 

I decided to take the responsibility for my health into my own hands. I studied every form of alternative healing I, possibly, could to find what worked for me and what didn’t. This is why, nowadays, I am a Naturopath and a Holistic Health Therapist (among all the other things.)

I set out on a quest to find a cure that worked for me. It may not work for everyone because sadly no two bodies are the same and never will be. 

 

By process of elimination, I am now in a position where I have found that, for me personally, what works is: 

 

Eating only freshly prepared food. No processed, minimum refined and nothing packaged. No fizzy drinks and hardly any alcohol at all.

Reducing stress levels in my life.

Avoiding conflict and conflictual situations.

Walks in nature and sitting quietly in nature.

Qi-Gong

Meditation

Regular massage/osteopathy

Cannabis 

 

Yes, I listed Cannabis ... Don’t judge me! I am a person just like you who wants to lead a happy, normal life without losing a day or two, here and there, because the pain is so bad, I, literally, can’t lift my head off the pillow. 

 

I wrote a book about Cannabis and healing as you all know. My inspiration was losing a friend to cancer but, ironically, through doing a lot of research for my book, I experimented with this amazing medicinal plant and found that it worked for me. 

 

Since Cannabis relaxes the body, all processes are slowed down. Blood and fluid pressure drop. It slows the production of cerebral spinal fluid, which then reduces the quantity supplied to my cranium, which in turn reduces the intracranial pressure. 

 

Am I junkie? Nope! I am an addict? Nope! I can take it or leave it with no side effects what so ever - except a migraine. With the prescribed drugs, I was an addict and, like I said earlier, went cold turkey when I stopped taking them - against the advice of my pharmacologist and neurologist. 

 

Do I smoke cannabis all day? Nope! I found that smoking 1 to 3 joints; depending on size and dosage, which are usually small; ie. the same size as a roll up cigarette, at night before sleep and preferably along with meditation, are sufficient to keep the migraine attacks in check. 

 

Please keep in mind, this is not medical research. This is only my own personal experience.

Do I get stoned? Nope! ... The only feelings I get are:

1. A sense of unbelievable peace and feeling of contentment.
2. Extreme mental clarity - It’s 2am and I am writing this after having used cannabis.
3. A feeling of truly being in the here and now ... mindful and fully present.

Do I lose control of me or my mind? Nope! You’ve all had some dealing of some sort with me. You’ve interacted with me, you’ve worked with me and you’ve socialised with me. You are perfectly able to make your own minds up. 

 

As a sideliner, I should add in here that Cannabis doesn’t affect people in the same way. A lot of people might get stoned with one puff. The miracle of Cannabis lies in the dose - too much will get a person stoned, too little won’t cure. It’s a delicate balance, but then isn’t all life, and its force, about balance?

 

If you want to know exactly how and why Cannabis heals, please read my book “Cannabis and Healing” available from Amazon. I talk about the CBDs found naturally in our bodies and I talk about Cannabis CBDs and the binding that happens to strengthen the immune system. Ironically, I don’t talk about my own condition. Why?

 

Because of you, out there, who dare to judge me and have judged me in the past. I’ve cared far too much for far too long. My “giving a damn” stops today because today I realise I can help more people by getting the truth out there rather than worrying about what you think. Every week, more and more videos appear on youtube of people, especially young people, who’s lives are being destroyed by this condition and the bandaids available in conventional medicine. 

 

I have had the privilege of helping a number of people get to a point where they can manage their condition and reduce the number of attacks but, I have never until now, mentioned Cannabis.

To all of you out there who continue to think Cannabis is a drug and that users are druggies ... let me ask you this. How long have you been taking legalised drugs that your doctor will never take you off? How much of a cure does it actually offer and how much does it just mask the symptoms and how much commission do you think they get, in kickbacks, from the pharmaceutical companies? - I don’t dispute that some medication might be essential - but not all!

 

Also, I ask you this ... if Cannabis was just for druggies and sooooo bad ... why are pharmaceuticals trying to synthesis it? ... and ... might I add, inducing coma or killing participants, in their studies, in the process ... 

 

When nature is perfectly perfect, made in whatever Gaia or Universal Energy or God’s image you believe in, it is highly humanly arrogant to think that man can improve it.

Breakups?

Another question is ... two people want to mutually end a relationship but one person ends it before the other; causing immense pain and heartbreak ... how do you deal with it and what advice can you give in 10 stages? ... wow ... putting me through my paces today ... I'm no relationship expert but ...here's my reply:

If both parties wanted to mutually end the relationship that tells us something has been wrong for quite some time. Under normal circumstances (whatever they may be) if the people involved are rationally sound, they wouldn’t decide to end a relationship just for the sake of it nor out of the blue nor on a whim.

The fact that they both wanted to end the relationship also tells us that both parties felt incompatible with each other for whatever reasons. They shared a common feeling that things weren’t working between them and that neither party was happy. In that knowledge, one would assume that their rational mind knows the best thing for them to do is separate.

So, although I appreciate the fact that every break up has its consequences, if a person, who wants to break up from their partner, feels distressed and heartbroken over “being dumped first” rather than being the one “doing the dumping” it’s not a mourning for the relationship as much as it is a matter of pride and ego being hurt.

So, maybe steps 1, 2 and 3 should be:

1) An analysis the relationship to create a realisation, and eventual awareness/acceptance of what was wrong and why there was a mutual desire to end it.

Awareness, acknowledgement and acceptance are tools for empowerment.

2) Create an understanding that we’re not going to be compatible with all the people we encounter in life. Many people come into our lives for a specific reason at a specific moment in time when we need them or when they need to teach us something. Or, perhaps, they appear when they need us to teach them something. People come and go from our lives, very few stay for a long duration.
Incompatibility doesn’t mean unworthy, unlovable or undesirable. This should be reinforced in the wounded party.

3) Getting the injured party to admit that the breakup is, in fact, mutually beneficial. There is no “dumping” and “being dumped”.Looking at the relationship realistically, if they both wanted to end it but neither one had taken the dreaded initiative to do so, who knows how long the suffering and pretense would have carried on for. They would have ended up making each others‘ lives a misery. So, ending it was a positive thing.

Steps 4 through to 10 should be about:

- Taking time to learn to be with one’s self and love one’s own self. It’s a new chapter in a new phase of life. It can be written any which way even if that means reinventing one’s self. This is a phase for reflection and introspection. Spending quality time with friends and family.

Having a life re-assessment. Creating new happiness within one’s self.After all, we cannot rely on others to create our happiness nor should we enter a relationship with the idea that someone else is going to make us happy. That’s a lot of responsibility to hand over to someone else. When they fail to live up to our expectations, we feel they’ve failed us. We feel let down and hurt and, eventually, we repeat the same mistakes again and again.

If we’re already happy when we meet someone, their presence in our life will be complimentary to it and not a necessity.

Finding new hobbies/interests, join clubs and find passions in life that are both enjoyable and lead to meeting new people.

Eventually finding the positive lessons learned from the broken relationship, forgiving the wrong and letting go.

Travelling, broadening horizons and doing all the things you feel you can’t do when you’re in a relationship.

Meeting someone new and moving on. Everything in life has a certain amount of risk but never taking a risk means never discovering new opportunites and life really is too short to shut all doors.

Of course, Rome wasn't built in a day. Nor would anyone work through these stages in 5 minutes. Everyone progresses at their own pace in life and just as well. It would be boring if we were all the same.

One global love

Tears reflected in someone else's eyes

Someone once wrote that God never gives us more pain than we can handle. I guess what is meant by that phrase is that, as human beings, we are so resilient, we adapt to our circumstances. We take the pain and we learn to deal with it in the best possible way. We may even learn from it and eventually start to slowly move forward again; recomposing the pieces in this jigsaw we call life - growing a little stronger each day.

We may be undoubtedly left with scars, some emotional, others psychological or physical but they serve as a living testimony to our strength in overcoming each challenge we found along our path. They’re a reminder of what was; a souvenir we gained from the challenges we faced and are almost like a sign of bravery for every hurdle we managed to overcome and survive.

The healing process for each pain is different and differs from individual to individual. There are those who need to share their pain by being surrounded by others who care. There are those who need to retreat into quiet solitude with their own inner being and there are those who need a little of both.

There are those who look for answers in signs and small miracles and there are those who never question anything at all. They just accept everything as a coincidental part of living. There are some who never heal at all from their pain. There are some who only partially heal and there are those for whom wounds just keep reopening.

Whichever the case, it would seem that pain, whatever kind, always leaves a void; a little hollow space where the depth of the sheer emptiness is such that it feels like a big black hole from outer space slowly taking over - engulfing us with all its almighty dark expanse. Most of the time, we may feel like nobody understands our pain. Yet, in all honesty, we probably never truly understand the personal consequences of the pain of others.

We can sympathise and we can empathise with each other but our pain is just that - ours. Even when we go through the same experiences, we all relate to them in different ways. Our processing means, rates and abilities are all different, our sensitivities are different and our emotional make-ups are different because the experiences we have and the lessons we’ve learnt in life have all been taken in differently.

Therefore our responses to pain and our healing processes are very different and as unique to us as our personalities. We all have different coping strategies in place that are the product of our life’s journey and what we’ve encountered along the way.

Yet, we all probably share one common trait when it comes to pain. Just as we think our suffering couldn’t get any worse, something happens to trigger the healing process. A sign arrives, a friend says something, someone hugs us, or one day we may just see our own tears reflected back at us in someone else’s eyes.

Suddenly, the darkness is banished by resplendent light and clarity. The void is replaced with sheer beauty and we feel that graceful, gentle, loving touch of another human being’s soul. There is no transpersonal connection or communication that is purer, more beautiful or more satisfying to the very inner being of who we really are.

That’s when the healing process begins and we silently, but consciously, know it. That’s when we know we can get through whatever it is we’re going through.

So maybe, in relation to: "God never gives us more pain that we can handle" - perhaps it more appropriate to say that when God thinks we're on the verge of not being able to handle it, he sends us someone or something to bail us out, to replenish our souls and lay a healing hand on us.