Back from Nepal

It’s been a while I know… but I do have a good excuse. I spent 7 weeks away from modern technology. Now, although sometimes it was frustrating, most of the time it was absolute bliss!

Just for the record, I spent 6 weeks in what I can only describe as the magical, mystical and spiritual country of Nepal. The country and the people captured my heart.

I spent 5 weeks at Kopan Monastery on the outskirts of Kathmandu. More or less, 4 of those weeks were spent in retreat. One week was spent volunteering in the clinic in Kopan Nunnery. Finally, I spent 5 days in Lakeside near Pokhara, where I had the opportunity to visit a beautiful Tibetan family in Hengja refugee camp.

The whole trip was a heart wrenching and heart warming experience (to say the least.)

Never before has my heart and soul been opened so much in one singular place. Never before have I encountered so much warmth and love from so many beautiful people. I look at the amount of suffering and poverty in Nepal and yet, I see hope for the future.

Only 30% of the total population of Nepal is employed. Poverty is a common thing. People live below the poverty line. However, people who can help, give what they can; not with indifference or embarrassment but with the genuine desire to help. Whether it’s with a hand full of rice, a bottle of water or a few rupees; each person helps in their own way.

The army’s presence is strong; a reminder to us all of the restless times we live in. Yet, countless faceless, nameless people from both the East and the West spin Dharma wheels and pray in hope of peace.

The blind are led, the hungry are fed, the elderly and the unmarried are taken care of. The departed are remembered by communities who gather to commemorate. People come together to help people and not just in times of crisis.

Kopan Monastery, where I stayed, uses wisely the donations given to it in order to give refuge to numerous Tibetans who go unrecognised by the Nepali government, and who can no longer go home. Some monks haven’t seen their families, in Tibet, for over ten years.

They empower their nuns by offering them degrees in Philosophy. Nepali families who can’t afford to support their children send them to the nunnery or the monastery. Westerners come from all corners of the world to seek retreat.

Nobody is turned away. Everyone is welcome; regardless of race, colour, belief or background. You instantly feel the warmth and love when you see the sign on the entrance floor saying: “Welcome Home.”

If anyone wants to see the first batch of phootographs from my trip, they’re available at:

www.flickr.com/venerina or
www.facebook.com/venerina

2010 Calendars!

Well folks,

Those of you who know me well enough, know how much I love to dabble in photography. I don't consider myself any good at it but ... I have a good time trying and it's fun! Over the last few weeks a lot of you have nagged me about doing something worthwhile with my photos ... so ... I have ...

Three new 2010 calendars are ready and available online:

The Flower Collection:






The Sea-Scape







The Sunset Collection

Who am I? (Part 1)

Who am I? – It’s such a simple question.

Yet, most people have great difficulty answering it.

Most people reply to the question who am I? with the labels they have acquired throughout their lifetime.

They primarily identify themselves with the roles they play in relationship to others. They use definitions like: I’m a father. I’m a sister. I’m a mother. I’m John’s friend, I’m an uncle. I’m a wife.

They define themselves in accordance with the role they play in society; i.e. the job or vocation they have; I’m a writer. I’m a barman. I’m a secretary. I’m a fireman.

They describe their current status with phrases like: I’m unemployed. I have a job. I’m a student. I’m a stay at home mum. I’m a struggling artist. I’m successful, I’m poor and so on. They adhere to a cultural group by saying: I’m Italian, I’m British, I’m Arabic, I’m German, I’m Chinese and so on.

They may even go on to explain their environmental backgrounds by saying: I live in London. I live in Paris. I lived in the United States when I was younger. I spent a lot of time in the Middle East. I have travelled to Egypt and Cyprus or wherever. They define what religious or spiritual sect they belong to by saying I’m a Catholic, I’m Jewish, I’m a Muslim, I’m a Buddhist, I’m a spiritualist.

By listing items such as those mentioned above, people are consciously or subconsciously recognising how important these factors are in describing who they are. Yet, they are nothing more than labels.

Aside from these labels, people also use descriptive qualities to define themselves. They list characteristics of their personality like: I’m a happy person. I have a nervous disposition. I’m not assertive enough. I’m introvert. I’m extrovert. I’m very patient. They list physiological aspects of themselves such as: I’m unattractive. I’m overweight. I’m pretty. I’m tall. I’m short. I have long hair. I have green eyes.

They list their behavioural qualities like: I’m organised, I’m unorganised, I’m untidy and so on. They may even add what pleases them like: I enjoy walking. I collect stamps. I go to the beach every weekend. I like the sea. Similarly, they may express what displeases them like I hate the cold. I never go to the beach. I don’t like queuing.

Whatever descriptions and labels are used, they only define a person according to their beliefs about who they think they are.

These beliefs are based on years of accumulated experiences and learning, environmental and societal influences. They come from an accepted understanding of the individuals’ capabilities, limitations, likes and dislikes.

Yet, most of the time, these beliefs are the product of how we think we are or how we think others see us.


(Extracted from: The Power to Heal is Yours - Be your best friend, not your worst enemy - A Practical Guide to Self-Transformation by Venerina Conti)
Copyright protected

Rose Quartz

Hello everyone and welcome to my new posts on Holistic Health. I have received so many enquiries about gemstones, oils and Holistic home remedies, I decided to start writing about them here.

As some of you may know, I am in the process of writing a book about crystals and oils and how they can be used safely in the home. However, it may be a while before it’s fully finished as my time has to be shared elsewhere.

I will use this space to introduce you to a wide variety of crystals and oils, their uses and purposes, where you can find them and how to maintain them. I hope you find this information to be helpful and if you have any questions, you know you can email me.

The first crystal I want to introduce you to is Rose Quartz. It’s one of my personal favourites. As the name suggests, Rose Quartz is a delicate rose/pink colour. However, there are varieties available that can be slightly darker or lighter shades of pink. It depends on where the gemstone comes from, how it was farmed etc.

Rose Quartz is a beautiful stone. It derives from Brazil, the USA and certain areas of India. It is associated with the heart chakra and signifies unconditional love.

In healing, Rose Quartz is used to release pain and let it go. By thus doing, it soothes emotional and physical stress. It clears away anger and brings inner peace to the user. It can be worn as jewellery. In fact, there are many items such as necklaces, bracelet and earrings made with Rose Quartz.

If you keep a piece of Rose Quartz by the bed, it can help to promote better sleep. Alternatively, you an keep a piece of Rose Quartz somewhere around the home to bring peace and well-being to your environment.

Our partners, VC Designs also make hanging angels with Rose Quartz, which can be hung on windows, over cribs or on a Christmas tree. They re very delicate and very beautiful to look at. They also make nice, affordable gifts to give your friends.

Rose Quartz properties

Colour - Rose

Predominant Chakra - The Heart

Benefits:

• Opens the heart at all levels to unconditional love and infinite peace
• Teaches the true essence of love
• Deep inner healing and self love
• Restores trust and harmony
• Calming, reassuring and good for use in trauma or crisis
• Strengthens empathy and sensitivity
• Aids acceptance of necessary change
• Good for mid life crisis
• Enhances positive affirmations
• Finest healer
• Soothes pain and heals deprivation
• Comforts your grief
• Teaches you to love yourself
• Balances Ying/Yang
• Soothes burns and blistering
• Smoothes the complexion
• Soothes burns

Organs/Systems

• Strengthens the physical heart
• Circulatory systems
• Chest and lungs
• Heals the kidneys and adrenals
• Increases fertility
• Helpful in Alzheimer’s, Parkinson’s and senile dementia

If you want a truly peaceful experience, try meditating with this crystal. Your Rose Quartz crystal can be cleansed by running under water until you feel in your inner self that it is free from all outside influences. Place it in direct sunlight to let it dry and re-charge. You can leave it there for a couple of hours.

To purchase one of the VCDesigns Rose Quartz Angels, please send an email to:
info@vcdesigns.net

Free Tibet Skype Group

The Olympics are about to begin. Please join me in an online discussion forum for the Free Tibet Campaign.

Free Tibet hosted by venerinac.

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Psychology of Reincarnation and Past Life Memories

In Eastern philosophy, reincarnation is a concept as old as time. According to spiritual/religious beliefs such as Hinduism, Buddhism and Taoism, the soul returns to the physical plane over many lifetimes. It is a necessary part of learning the ancient wisdom and making old wrongs right.

In Western culture, Edgar Cayce was one of the first people to introduce this concept back in the 1950s. Throughout several of his readings, he says that the main purpose of the soul is to learn and grow. Thus doing, it earns its rightful place next to Creator.

Much research has and is being carried out globally to find evidence for and against reincarnation. Popular culture is flooded with books that debate both the believers’ and the sceptics’ points of view. Believers rely on their faith and trust their intuition. Sceptics demand tangible scientific proof.

Regardless of opinion, though, some questions receive little attention. For example: What, if anything, is there to be gained by having memories from previous lives? How can these memories affect a current life and the people in it? What are the psychological repercussions of remembering being someone else in another place and time?

Whether we choose to believe or not, there is a group of people for whom memories of past lives are very real. They are known as the Druze (or Druse); followers of the spiritual faith of El-Mowahideen El-Druze. There is speculation that the Druse faith originated in Egypt about 1000 years ago.

According to the Druze organisation there are almost one million followers worldwide. Many live in Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, certain parts of India and Egypt. Many others now live in Western societies. (www.druzenet.org/dnenglish.html)

Although the basic religious beliefs of the Druze find their origins in Islam, their faith is very different. In fact, these differences have been the cause of religious wars in regions such as the Gaza strip. They also played a part in the civil war in Lebanon.

The Druze believe their spiritual leader, El-Mowahideen El-Druze, was the reincarnation of God. They also believe strongly in the efforts of man and his actions. Their core philosophy is that a soul will return to earth many lifetimes in order to grow. They believe it has done so since the beginning of time and it will carry on doing so until the end of time. It is no wonder that most reported cases of reincarnation are Druze.

During his (almost) 40 year career, investigating reincarnation, Dr Ian Stevenson travelled throughout Lebanon and India documenting cases of past life memories. He interviewed thousands of Druze children, their family members, friends and neighbours. He also carried out follow-up interviews to see how memories of past lives affected adult life. However, there is not enough research on the current psychological effects of past life memories.

Over twenty cases from his 1998 trip to Lebanon and India are documented in Tom Shroder’s book Old Souls. There is also mention of a few cases investigated in parts of the United States of America.

The first person to bring public awareness to the effects of past lives, on the current life psyche, was Dr. Brian Weiss. In 1988 he published: Many Lives, Many Masters, which spoke of his patient Catherine. She comes to him because she is seeking a cure for her fears of water and choking, dieing and airplanes.

Initially, he believes these fears come from somewhere in Catherine’s childhood. So, they both agree that hypnotherapy (or hypnotic regression) is the best method for her to remember.

During regressive hypnotherapy a person is guided into a deep state of relaxation and/or trance by way of hypnosis. In theory by entering this state, the conscious mind, which is responsible for processing information, can be by-passed. Thus, the sub-conscious mind can be accessed. This is the part of our mind where information is stored that we are not fully aware of; including memories. Sometimes, we choose to block them out because they are too painful. Dealing with them openly could cause trauma and great amounts of discomfort. So, this process is really a mechanism for our own self-defence.

The general idea behind hypnotherapy is to bring painful events from the past into awareness. Thus, a person becomes free to face them, deal with them and let go of them. Inner healing begins by acknowledging a problem and finding the root of its cause.

Catherine undergoes several hypnotherapy sessions with Dr. Weiss. He tries to get her to remember anything from her childhood that may shed light on her fears. Nothing comes to the surface. They are no further forward. Then one day, Weiss gives her a different type of hypnotic suggestion. He asks her to remember the first ever memory that she feels is the cause. Thus, Catherine starts to talk about her previous lives.

As the memories unfold, Weiss discovers that her fear of water comes from drowning in another life. Her fear of airplanes comes from being a male soldier in the Second World War. Over a period of time, he finds that every current fear of hers is rooted in an event from a former lifetime.

They begin to see progress. The more hypnotherapy sessions she has, the more Catherine begins to let go of her fears. One by one they disappear completely from her current state of being. However, she becomes a little disturbed by the fact that she is talking about past lives. Reincarnation is not a word that is in her vocabulary since it challenges her beliefs. Dr. Weiss has to convince her, a great deal, to continue the sessions.

As far as I am aware, there is no follow-up research available to say how Catherine’s psyche was affected by her experience. Her fears were cured but has her life changed as a result? Has she suffered any form of identity crisis? Has she replaced one psychological challenge with another? These are all questions that remain unanswered.

What about other people who remember past lives? Is everyone affected the same way? Not according to Stevenson’s Druze cases presented by Shroder. In fact, there is a mixture of reactions. Each individual deals with their experience in a different way. Some live as if they have lost everything and never quite recover. Some are indifferent to their past life and some gain more than they had before.

The latter is the case with Daniel. As a child, he remembered being in a fatal car accident when he lived as a young man called Rashid. At a very early age, he started speaking of this unfortunate event.

He remembered names, faces, his previous mother, his family members and so on. He accused his current mother of not being his mother; his family of not being his real family. He would insist on being taken back to his family.

Even if reincarnation is part of everyday life for the Druze, the child’s frustration and the family’s hurt is obvious. A mother is always a mother. It is natural that she would be hurt when her own flesh and blood rejects her.

In Western society such claims would be dismissed and the child considered hurtful or a little strange. This was the case with an acquaintance of Shroder in the United States. Since reincarnation is not readily accepted among Westerners, only a few cases are reported and followed up. When they are, it is generally because the family keep an open mind. In some cases, what the child says is too coincidental to ignore.

His mother says that, as a child, Daniel didn’t like getting in the car. Also, that he would scream and cry every time they drove past the scene of the accident.

As a man, Daniel tells us that he likes cars but he still has a fear of fast driving. He, also, still has a fear of the place where the accident happened. Thus, it is apparent that simply talking about traumas, from past lives, is not enough to make fears disappear. At least not in every case as Weiss would have us believe.

With Daniel, nothing begins to heal the situation until his family meet Rashid’s. From that point on life improves for all the people involved. Both families find support and friendship in one another. Everyone is happy especially Rashid’s parents. Their grief is eased because they have a part of their son back. Daniel finds himself with two support systems he can turn to. He has two families that love him very much. He has his friends from the past and his friends from the present.

In the next two cases, presented here, about Suzanne and Itidal, things are quite the opposite. The one thing they all share in common is the conviction of who they were before. For better or for worse, the feelings and emotions of their past lives are very real to them.

It is not a question of having a vague memory of being someone else. Nor is it about having residual fears that come from somewhere unknown as with Catherine. It is about being born as the same person in a different body, a different environment and in a different family.

Psychiatrist Jim Tucker, among many, explains this as a transfer of one person’s personality into another. However, nobody knows exactly what a personality is. Just as nobody knows what a soul is. Thus, it is not possible to explain how either one can go from one body to another.

As a child, Suzanne always said she was Hanan, wife of Farouk and mother of three. Like Daniel, she accuses her parents of not being her real parents. She keeps saying she needs to be with her husband and children. As young as six months of age, she tried phoning Hanan’s daughter Leila. It was later discovered that she had one digit wrong in the number.

When she meets with her previous family, she is still very much in love with her husband. She speaks to her daughters as a mother would even though she is a child herself. When she discovers her husband has remarried, her emotions and feelings become those of a jealous woman. Growing up, these feelings do not change nor do they disappear.

There is distress all round. Hanan’s daughters refuse to speak to her anymore because they cannot accept the return of their mother in a little girl. Her husband breaks all ties with Suzanne because of feelings of pain and, to an extent, guilt. Suzanne’s life is not moving forward because she is living in Hanan’s past. Even now, as a young woman, she cries for her daughters and her husband. Having everything, losing it all, re-finding it and not being able to have it (or be close to it) has grave psychological effects.

In contrast to Daniel, all Suzanne has gained from her experience is a life of sadness. Her family worry about her welfare. Aside from supporting her, there is little more anyone can do to help her through it.

Another point worth noting is, at six months, Suzanne/Hanan clearly shows no concept of her physical and psychological age. Her behaviour is similar to a conscious adult held back by the limiting abilities of her physical age.

This is not the first case where this appears. Another infant called Joseph insisted his mother buy him size 8 shoes. She tells him they will be too big but he refuses to believe it until he tries them on. In another case, Robert can speak and string whole sentences together by the age of 6 months.

These factors challenge conventional psychological thinking. Psychoanalyst Sigmund Freud was the first to propose that infants, as young as six months, are only capable of satisfying their biological needs. They have no consciousness comparable to adults, who develop a personality while growing up.

Carl Jung proposed that infants are born with instinctual patterns of behaviour and perception, which come from a collective unconscious. Thus, a baby instinctively knows how to get attention, when and how to cry for food etc. because we all have it in us.

Jean Piaget proposed that infants only begin to put together purposeful actions by the age of 2 years. Up until that time, he believes they only understand the world through their perception of it. They learn by way of trial and error of their actions.

These children are clearly outside what is considered a normal child development model. Unfortunately, I could not find any model for them or any further psychological research about their development. Future investigation in this area would prove to be beneficial. Not just for the children who claim to be reincarnated. It would help us come closer to understanding why some children develop quicker than others. Another unanswered question is: Could undetected cases of reincarnation be responsible for the child geniuses in the world?

In Itidal’s case, she claims she was Salma, a woman shot by her drunken husband. She remembers working very hard to support her several children. Some memories are a little unclear but the emotions are very real. She comes across as fearful, melancholic and resigned.

In her current life, she is mother to one son and divorced. Her husband forcefully took custody of their son. Contrary to tradition, he also denies her motherly visiting rights. She blames her previous life for her current life events. Throughout her interview, she constantly compares Salma’s life to her own. She shows no hope for the future. It is as if she believes she is pre-destined to have this life so she cannot expect anything better.

As with Suzanne, it is evident that support systems alone are not enough to help Itidal recover from her experience. Edgar Cayce claims that faith in the Creator is enough to overcome anything and everything. In these cases faith is obviously not enough.

Science refuses to accept that reincarnation is real. Thus, there are no professional conventional support models available to these children/adults. Transpersonal and Holistic psychology allows an individual the safety to talk about memories of past lives. Yet, it fails to offer cross-cultural healing models. Even though each individual is taken as a unique case there are no real guidelines available.

Transpersonal Psychology is still a relatively new realm in Europe, let alone the Middle East. Having travelled extensively throughout Arabic regions, and worked with many Druze, I know that among the majority it is still unheard of.

It is hard enough in Western culture to break through traditional beliefs that only conventional science is right. In areas of political sensitivity, it is even harder still to break through the barriers of prejudice. Religious/spiritual, geographical socio-economical and cultural factors play a big part in communication and understanding.

Globally, when we learn, as Edgar Cayce says, that we are all essentially the same essence; When we put aside our differences and work together; When we stop seeking to only answer the question: Does reincarnation exist or not?; and when egos stop getting in the way; Only then will we find a way to help these children through their experiences.

Farewell and thank you

Dear friends and listeners,

It is with regret that today I have to break the news that, due to my life commitments and external circumstances, I am no longer able to collaborate with Real Coaching Radio and Coach Steve Toth as Co-Host of the International Mind, Body and Soul show.

This is a year of major change for me. For starters, I have now entered the countdown phase of leaving my adopted home and beautiful island of tranquility (Madeira) in exchange for opening the Holistic Retreat in Sicily. The move requires a lot of planning and a lot of trips off the island, since I have belongings here and in the UK that need to be packed and shipped. The logistics are already taking their toll.

In addition to this, I am focusing a lot of time and energy in promoting the retreat, as you can all appreciate, it is hard enough to get an Internet business running let alone how very time consuming it is to get a new physical business off the ground and there are some areas of the development that are going through the construction phase, which requires my presence. (More trips off the island).

As if this wasn’t enough, I am still in the phase of finishing writing my books and my Masters Degree. For the latter, I have to start writing my Thesis, which is also in book format. The research alone requires enormous amounts of my time.

I have very much enjoyed my time spent at Real Coaching Radio and thank Coach Steve for letting me run riot in his show. My thanks to my friends at TGAMM as well for their support.